The meaning of a crush.... - Talk About Marriage

Quote:

livelaughlovenow said: either way I think that we do fall in love with those who have qualities we lack, and want as well as commonalities if which to build upon.

I very much believe opposites in Temperment DO attract, (but huge differences in love languages, dreams, goals, values -that is not the same - those would be an uphill daily battle & not wise to marry opposites in these things).

I feel , even if we don't realize it, that we inwardly admire in an opposite tempered spouse the things we lack -if they are walking in their best temperment ability -that is. But if all we see is the weaknesses of a given temperment, this would be miserable, and wear us down. For every personality, it has it's strenghts to be used to help , encourage & uplift others, get a job done, or to bring down, stifle or hurt others.

I could make a pretty nice list of the very opposite things me & my husband are ...and how wonderful this works in our marraige even.

It is very important to understand our spouses & these differences, not to demean them but appreciate what they can bring to the marraige, maybe we don't even realize it.

Where I am the social butterfly -he is not so much... but this keeps people in our life...we have big parties, we get out of the house with friends, he is always by my side. It draws him in the conversations. Where I lack patience, he has it - and I need a man like that ! He gets me to laugh at myself when I get a little carried away - over stupid things. Where I may be overly emotional, he is very calm..and loves that softer side of me.... I need this in my man.

I love to read, he hates it -but he'll let me read anything to him so we can talk about it together.

I really enjoy debate alot, or exploring issues, playing devils advocate... when I meet up with others who enjoy this challenging of the cerebral......it is always a delight to me. It seems many times these are men. I don't know why..it just happens. My husband is not so much into things like that.... I do this with a good friend, even with one of my son's college room mates...and he is kinda cute.

In this way, some may say I have a "crush" on him, I don't think I could deny that.... had I been younger, unattached, Id' surely be looking at him.... because we are so very similar & enjoy the same thing-this challenging mentally - he is a writer, so it makes sense , I love to write! We've read similar books on religion, explored similar subjects in psychology, He impresses me.

But I know what I have right beside me, noone could take his place in my heart, in my life, even if he isn't a writer & doesn't want to dissect the 5 points of Calvanism with me. My husband is prefectly content with my enjoyments, likes to sit back and listen to us even ....my son is generally right there too..interjecting.

There is no boundary crossing.

Now if I was to start crossing some line in my head, fantasizing about this younger guy... well this would be a problem. It isn't happening, I just feel -God Bless him, whomever wins his heart will be one blessed woman.

I already know I am....with my husband by my side.

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~ Passion and purpose go hand in hand. When you discover your purpose, you will normally find it?s something you?re tremendously passionate about. ~ Steve Pavlina

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